📊 Tokenomics (Totally Real)
Total Supply: 1,000,000,000
Tax: 0% (We’re not that smart)
Utility: Emotionally therapeutic only
Liquidity: Launched into hyperspace and locked in Chad's glovebox 🔐
Token Distribution:
- • 50% – Circulating supply (aka dumped instantly)
- • 25% – Team (but we pinky swear not to rug)
- • 15% – Airdrops to influencers who won’t post
- • 10% – Burned (by accident)
Note: These numbers mean nothing. Just vibes.
The $HELP Dream Team
- Chad Rugman — Chief Exit Strategist (CES)
- Ines Vestor — Director of Delusional Forecasting
- Elon Dump — VP of Viral Volatility
- GPT69 — Lead AI Copium Engineer
- Satoshi Wannabe — Senior Liquidity Visionary
- Moonboy Jenkins — Community Engagement Overlord
Fully doxxed on Twitter Spaces. Background checks failed successfully ✅
Memes
Roadmap
Phase 1: Launch & immediate regret
Phase 2: Dev goes missing (but leaves memes)
Phase 3: Influencer with 42 followers tweets "soon"
Phase 4: Community hosts a Twitter Space nobody joins
Phase 5: Charts look bullish if you tilt your head
Phase 6: Movie deal talks (with ourselves)
Phase 7: Partnership with imaginary brand
Phase 8: Token resurrects... in our dreams
FAQ (Frequently Avoided Questions)
- Is this a rug?
Rugs are comfy. This is more like a banana peel. - Who made this?
A visionary. Or a guy with too much time and too little ETH. - Will I get rich?
Define "rich." - What’s the utility?
Emotional support. Maybe a meme tattoo someday. - What chain is this on?
Solana. Because we love pain and fast transactions. - Why $HELP?
Because yelling it feels right during a 99% drawdown.
$HELP Merch
Feeling down? Buy a hoodie. Cry in it. Repeat.
The $HELP Ritual
Play this when gasping for financial salvation. It won’t help, but it sets the mood.
AI-Powered Audit
$HELP has undergone a deep machine learning-driven audit powered by GPT-69 and Chad's cousin's neural net.
- ✅ Liquidity is technically somewhere
- ✅ Smart contract passed our “vibe check”
- ✅ No red flags detected by our AI (it’s colorblind)
- ✅ Rug probability: 42% (statistically insignificant)
- ✅ Audited using our proprietary CopiumChain™ algorithm
This audit was generated entirely by AI. Trust the code. Or don’t. 🤖